write

Dialogue

10/23/2023

It must be 1 or 2 am. I'm falling asleep. My breath is slowing down and I'm struggling to keep my eyes open. I need to fight the urge. I need to squeeze every last awake second of this embrace. My flight leaves tomorrow at 4am and I don't know when will be the next time I'll get to hold you.
zzzzzz. zzzzzz.
You're sound asleep. You have been sound asleep for a while now. I noticed when your body relaxed on mine and your hand let go of mine.
zzzzzzzz.
Why does mi saliva tastes alkaline? I should stop drinking coffee. Damn your skin is so soft and warm

Template

A day in a characters life. A routine
The same character can have a different routine depending on what's happening in its life at the time
- eg first trimester, change of work, etc
The template might reflect the passion map
Links to dig into details eg "piles of clothes"
- godot, html, choose your own adventure, footnotes?
When the character involves audio in their routine
character card / sheet

What I've learned talking to myself

Attention is our most valuable currency
"we" all request attention. Even if "we" want to pay (give? provide? attend?) attention to "resonate" to a certain frequency, it is not always possible. "we" may not possess the capabilities to resonate at a certain frequency yet.
"we" is the body and mind
The body is a vessel for the mind. It's the price we have to pay to allow our conscious mind to feel and experience it all.
Balance is not optional. Balance happens. It's up to us to try and influence how balance looks like.
Distractions are not intrinsically bad when one intentionally looks for and embraces them
We can focus our attention to get diverse perspectives/contexts and resolve different levels of meaning
Everything is intentional and carries meaning.
Often times we deflect our attention away from the main idea (core concept?). We do so because of bad feelings
1. embarrassment: Going to Disney and "not buying the princesses" we focus on what breaks the fantasy/immersion
2. pain/hurt: When having an argument and realizing we are wrong, we focus on other ideas, nitpick an imperfect argument
We have the power of decision
1. What feeling is evoked by different emotions
2. what to do with our time
3. to change or remain the same
We *have* to settle into things. Allow for some time to soak in the context/activity/new scenario. It is not until we settle in that we can truly and mindfully experience and perform
"Settling in" is giving ourselves space and time to let our body and mind experience and react to whatever we are paying attention to.
On being vulnerable. Big topic I don't feel like fleshing it out right now.
On the (in)permanence of actions. WiP
Liminal spaces. Thresholds. Transitions. They all are a thing by themself and have intrinsic value. They are worth exploring.

Body

6/29/2019

The alarm goes off and you regain consciousnesses as you transition from whatever bizarre dream you were in the middle of to the stream of real life suddenly hitting your brain like a ten ton truck. It's a weekday which means you follow the habitual routine: Stumble out of bed. Unplug the phone and pee sitting down while you skim through new emails hoping nothing exploded overnight. Pace around the flat as you brush. Two scoops of dry food and a fresh bowl of water for Nosa.

Walk back to your room and stand facing the dresser and the first conscious decision since waking up: What to wear? You mentally go through today's activities so your attire works for your schedule.

You're working out before work today. That's why the alarm went off two hours earlier this morning. The thought of going back to bed crosses your mind but you push through.

You did it to yourself. It will be worth it, you think. Everyone does.

Long-legged, extra supportive boxer briefs made from a combination of cotton and spandex .

Under the ankle, minimal socks that won't show with the black UltraBoosts you just got. Those blue Patagonia shorts everyone insists you should get rid of but everyone can go mind their own business. A supima cotton and rayon blend t-shirt. 82% chances of rain so you bring along a light rain jacket.

Ready. Numb. Work out. Done. Shower. Back to face the dresser. In retrospective, you wonder why you even hesitated to go through with your plan this morning. You feel tired and full of energy at the same time. Focused. You accomplished something before the rest of the city even opened their eyes.

Every morning you carefully select what you are wearing to match your activities for the rest of the day. Those five extra minutes sure make a difference when you don't have to think about shedding extra layers while sweating , staying dry when it's raining, or not looking too under-dressed for the meeting.

Your body is no different.

Food goes in, energy is spent, and for the better or worse your body adapts as a result.

Your body will match the rest of your life based on those two factors. It's a very simple concept, but extremely difficult to match your wants with your needs.

Struggle

1/20/2020

Worth while things are hard and mostly suck short term.

The suck makes the payoff worthy. It provides the lull to highlight and contrast the high. Music is a great example. There has to be a build up, there has to be stress so there is release. Otherwise it's all muzak

Google Sites

Report abuse